My six year old son said the wisest thing to me the other day. We were talking about summer and how excited we are to swim and get a small pool for the backyard and he says, "You know what girl's swim suits I don't like?"
"No brother, what girl's swim suits don't you like?" Since he's not too into girls being girly I thought it'd be something about the ones with skirts I buy his sisters.
"You know the ones that are like triangles and just cover their privates? I don't like those."
Well this surprised me. "Oh? Why?"
"Cause it barely covers their privates, and I'm worried I'll see their privates and I'm not supposed to ever see that."
Then Solomon chimes in "Ya thats not good to almost see that."
Question- Why do my 6 & 8 year old boys get this and so many people don't? Sure when most people see a little girl in a tiny bikini it looks very innocent to them. And I get that it's really not intended to be sexual. One of my big reasons for not dressing my daughters in all the adorable teeny tiny bikinis is this; it is not intended to be sexual, but it can easily be seen that way. I'm sure my boys aren't the only ones bothered by this, and I know their dad feels the same about some women's suits we've seen in public. But beyond that, there are creeppy sexual predators all around us anymore. I don't want some sleazy man looking at my sweet innocent daughter in a sexual way, even if he doesn't do the unthinkable and act on it. And more over I don't want them to grow up thinking that wearing teeny tiny swim suits will be ok with me. Because what is cute on a 3 year old is downright inappropriate on a 13 year old.
Additionally with so much information on the effects of the sun and the devastation of skin cancer, why are we expose so much of our children's skin? I have always had my boys where rash guard shirts when they have their swimming suits on. I was so disappointed when I went looking for girl's swimwear last year and had a hard time finding rash guard shirts for girls! I don't want more skin to be showing and subject to harm UV rays.
And really it's not just the little girls, or teenage girls, swim wear. Its even the clothing that I find out in stores. It is so frustrating trying to find cute spring and summer clothes for my girls. "Spaghetti" straps and halter tops litter the shirt selection, and the length of the shorts that are made for little girls will barely cover their bottoms, let alone a diaper covered bottom. These things may be cute on little girls, but I often think, would I want them wearing these clothes when they're teens? No I don't! And I don't want to raise my daughters thinking that showing off your body is how to get positive attention from either sex.
And I'm not just thinking about how this will effect my daughters, but my sons as well. Theres no wonderful mystery of the female body any more. I don't want my boys to believe that all women's bodies are for them to look at, to think of women so little that they just notice her body.
My friend Laura wrote a great post titled Overexposure and Our Sacred Bodies (to read her post just click the titled link). And I agree with a lot of what she is saying, theres a lot of good points. It makes me sad that my children are subject to so much sexualization in our culture.
I'm not saying our daughters, or ourselves, have to wear burkas, or big ole shapeless dresses from neck to ankle. There are lots of cute clothing options out there that we can still be modest. My fabulously dressed friend Andrea at She'sCRAFTY does a monthly fashion post called helloSTYLE at Fancy Littles Things. She dresses so cute and modestly and highlights that in her fashion post. She's inspired me for quite a few outfits. We may have to look harder ladies, but cute and modest clothes are out there.
Now let me be very clear here- I am NOT saying that parents who dress their little girls in any of the clothing I mentioned are bad parents. I know very good parents who I've seen their daughters in what I would not dress my daughters in. It is a personal conviction I have. I'm just asking if we as parents, and as society, have truly thought of the ramifications of how we're dressing our daughters.
